My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
