had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
