I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
