Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
