when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
