I feel great
I just peed on a car
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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