After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
