so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
