were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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