Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
