also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
