my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
