If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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