You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
