My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
