Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
