Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
