i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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