i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
please come you make the beer taste better
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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