Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
