I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
