sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
birth control should be required to get into college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
