i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
