the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
