We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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