omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
