why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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