I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
