he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
