"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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