College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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