Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
