its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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