windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
