i will never coherently bang her
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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