Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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