hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Quick, to the slutcave!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
