it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
