I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
