so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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