I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
