So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
When are your genitals available?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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