hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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