I wannas sexs uuuuu
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
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