thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize