oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
