I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
