I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
