i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
