So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
