I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
