I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
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