so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
