How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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