i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
